charcuterie

Okay, so the word is charcuterie, pronounced, "shahr- koo- tuh- ree", the accent depends on if you are standing in Utah or Paris.  haha!  There may be better tutorials or thoughts on it out there somewhere, but this is what has worked for me.

About two years ago, while my son was on his LDS mission, his mission president's daughter was married.  I was on a facebook group with the mission president's secretary, who is A.MAZ.ING!  She was a huge help with the wedding and shared some photos. Seriously, THE most amazing thing I'd ever seen before!  I could not believe how fabulous this was!  I saw this and could hardly wait to have a party!  Now, I have to find a photo....  Okay, I went back and found these from the wedding dinner.  Seriously, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.  Of course, my boards have had my own take, but is this lovely or what!?

Above is several boards before taking them out. Below is their completed board for the wedding.  This board has mostly breads as fillers, as I've studied it.

I thought that using a small charcuterie as a centerpiece was fabulous.  (They were served on chargers!)

 Anyway, I had to visit with Connie about this because I'd never even heard of it.  She told me that she'd found a ton of them on Pinterest.  Still, none have ever matched hers.  So classy on the white tableclothes.

So, I studied, pinned and read about them for months and could not wait for New Years Eve!  I was so excited to create my first charcuterie board and here it is!  Jim and Kristy, Quayd and the girls, Doug and I ate for two hours.  That's the thing about the board... it's not about the food, as much as it is the experience of eating it!

As I look at these photos, this was our smallest board yet too, but it had so much on it that we could never have finished it!

the little bowl in the bottom right corner below is marscapone mixed with a sour cherry jelly. Oh my!  It's fun to have some sweet things in the board since all of the cheese and savory and salty things take up most of the space.  Plus, with the breads and crackers, it's also fun!

I like to take a photo of the end of the night, when we'd finished eating, just so that I could remember what had totally disappeared and what, if any, was left.  As you could see, we enjoyed it all!

This board below was in April of 2018, for Doug's mom's 84th birthday.  This was my biggest board yet.  This is a pretty pricey party, so I've kept my charcuteries to smaller groups.  The largest was for 14 adults, this night, and the cost for that party was over $230 for the food. I told Doug's siblings that I would do all of the work, all they had to do was be here on time because it's cold food and has to be kept cold until serving. I divided the cost and it ended up being $32 per couple.  A little pricey for going to your brother and sister-in-law's for dinner, but they didn't have to lift a finger and at the end of the evening, I gave everyone ziplocs and told them to help themselves to anything left on the table.  They got the food, the experience and they didn't have to prepare anything.  No one complained a bit.  Where could you go out to eat for $32 and have this kind of fun and food!

It was a healthy, simple yet fabulous meal!

Another friend followed my idea to just charge her siblings for the dinner when she made a board in December.  Hers was more simple, so it was less for her guests, but she said that everyone loved it, no one minded the cost and they all can't wait to do it again and were willing to pay more next time for a larger variety!  

The thought of having everyone bring something to help gives me anxiety!  You need to have it all set and ready when the arrive.  If you had to wait for everyone to get there, it would be difficult to get it together and it would never look so wonderful!  So, this is a party that I like to prepare all on my own and let the guests just come and enjoy.

For charcuterie, I never even set out forks.  Everyone has a knife and a fondue fork.  There's no dipping or double dipping.  It's just picking up and putting your food on your plate.  Then, do with it what you will.  I have sauces and dips and spreads that have knives or spoons in them for serving.

I've found that for the charcuterie board, the longer, the better.  My board is four feet long.  I end up putting chargers or serving dishes at either end of it for more than six people.  I need a six foot board and for the next party, Doug said he will buy me one.  Just get a solid piece of wood.  Lather it in olive oil each day for a few days before you use it the first time.  Then, oil it before and after each use.  We store the board inside where it won't have bugs near it.  It washes easily then we reoil and put it away.  Any wood will do.  You can also use wooden cutting boards.  My friend, Marilyn, has three rounds and a round table.  She puts them out and then fills the table between the boards, as well.

No matter how long the board is, divide your food and duplicate it, repeating it down the length of the table. If you have six people eating, try to have three "sets" of food.  Spread the food across the board so that each stretch of the board has a little of everything.  That way people don't have to reach and they don't feel like they missed out on something that was tasty at the other end.  I always tell our guests before we begin eating that everything on the table is duplicated over and over so that they don't have to feel like "what are they eating down there that I am not down here?"

This board was for Zee and her friends for the Girls Choice dance.(It was a casual dance, so this seemed fitting.) They walked in, took one look and wondered, "Is that gonna be enough food?"  Zee was really nervous that they wouldn't like it. She loves it, but she has eaten grown-up food all her life. They really didn't know what to expect because it wasn't the traditional chicken cordon bleu or chicken that most moms serve for the dance dinner.  They loved it!  They did ask for more pepperonis and salamis. However, that's because they were teenage boys.  I actually served the six of them twice the amount of meats, because they were teens, that I'd served 14 of us at Doug's Mom's dinner!

For the dance charcuterie, I also served each of them a bowl of caramel popcorn, which shockingly, did not get eaten except by one of the teens.  They were too busy eating "the good stuff".  This was a fall dance, so I added some more whole fruits on their board.  They ate the little cuties oranges and two apples were eaten.

Always check your grapes.  These big purple ones had seeds.  Eewwwww.  Not cool!  Just to give you an idea of expense, this board was about $160, but we had half the salamis and cheeses left over for the next board.

BTW, Zee chose the dishes for this dance dinner.  Not my favorite, but it was her dance, her choice.  She says when I die, she doesn't want the china near as much as she does the party dishes.  She can have them!)

This, below, was the board for my presidency last month.  I added more veggies to this one than I ever have.  I was pressed for time that day and bought a relish tray to simplify my work a bit, so this board has celery and carrots, too, a first.  We didn't many of them because there was so much other good stuff.  I have decided that you might as well serve what will get eaten, not just what looks good.  That dark food in the closest bowl is my new citrus-jalepeno-cranberry dip.  It was a wonderful addition!  However, after two batches of it, we went back to our old tried and true cranberry-jalepeno dip for the rest of the holidays.

I buy most of my charcuterie food from the deli at our grocery store but a few things from Sam's Club in the fancy cheese section.  Bob, the deli manager, and I have become good friends this year!  For this board, I spent about $70, but like I mentioned, I had saved some of the cheeses and processed meats from the last one.

For the sweets this night, I added fudge.  I've seen boxed chocolates on boards but I had fudge that my niece had made.  It was a super busy day, so with the help of a few prepared items, this board came together quite quickly.

I also did some marscapone and cranberry jelly.  All the fancy jellies in the deli are wonderful mixed with marscapone but so are your normal every day jellies.

I always have a bowl of nuts on the table at presidency meeting.  We keep the nuts in Doug's closet.  He is the keeper of the nuts.  LOL  I asked him to grab me a couple of cups of different nuts.  He said we were out!  Out of every nut in the house, except pecans!  I wanted to cry!  Sugared pecans are wonderful though! The one night, of all, to not have the others, though!  Sadness!  (As a result of this, on Christmas morning, Doug opened his heaviest box which was filled with five pound each of cashews, peanuts, peppered pistachios, roasted almonds and mixed nuts.)

New Years Eve was a fondue party, but I did do a small charcuterie on my round wooden cutting board, a gift from Zee.  You can see it just in front of Quayd.  It had salamis and sausages.  The cheeses were in bowls and trays.

So, the meaning of charcuterie is "cold cooked meats collectively".  As I read about it before I did my first, it's obviously french and they take it to other levels.  Meats and cheeses and fruits and nuts.  So, for my boards, here is the list of almost forty foods that we serve:

Sliced Turkey rolled up.  (I use better quality meats because they have to sit out for a few hours and especially turkey gets slimy.  My favorite is Columbus Brand Maple Honey Turkey and the Sun-dried Tomato (which has the dried tomatoes around the edges of the meat. YUM!)

Sliced Ham rolled up.  Again  Columbus Brand is good.  I have done Black Forest, but we love the Maple Honey.

Salami - You can buy a variety three pack at Sam's Club for about $12 and slice it.  There is one that is covered in black pepper.  Oh my!  Another quick way to go, and I usually do both, is to buy the pack of rolled slices of salamis and pastramis that is filled with soft mozzerella cheese.  It's about $13 at Sam's or Costco.

Proscuitto is a hit for some, although my family says it's their least favorite on the board, so I've cut back on it.

Roll the meats, slice smaller meats thinly, or slice big chunks of sausages.  Variety makes it look great and helps you remember what's what.

We've also served shrimp and a cocktail sauce, but that goes in a bowl, not loose on the board.  Things that will drip and make the other food goes into bowls or serving containers to keep them from "bleeding" onto the other food.

Cheeses - It's fun to have a few wedged cheeses.  They get pricey!  Gouda is great!  Havarti is another wonderful charcuterie cheese.  For this family, Pepper Jack is a must, simply because it's our favorite and we always have cubes of it cut up in the fridge just for munching.  Colby-Jack is another favorite and very affordable.  Flavored Asiagos are great! Cheese is a great filler because if you cut it into cubes, small ones, it goes so far, looks great and can be adjusted to fit your budget!  If you are using different cheeses, try to cut them differently, like chocolate stores put different swirls to know what they are.  Make long cubes, larger cubes, rectangles, strips, wedges or slices.  A whole wedge looks great on your board but it's harder to serve without lots of hands on it.  Mozzarella balls are  pretty in a serving dish.  Mix your cheeses... soft cheeses and hard cheeses.

Grape tomatoes go a long way and they come in yellow, reds and oranges now!  I'm not a fan but they add color and most people love them

Grapes in all colors, Cherries, Berries of all kinds.  Strawberries go first!  Berries tend to bleed so, other than strawberries, they go in bowls.  Strawberries that are washed and completely dry are great!

Pickles and olives.  If you serve mini pickles, drain them, then let them set out on paper towels, so that the other foods don't taste like dill.  We buy the big jar of big green olives that have the slice of garlic inside them at Sam's.  (About $7 a jar.)  I'm not a fan but Doug craves them like I crave my Diet Coke.  Those need to be dry but they look great on the board too!

Peppers of all colors are a great addition.  I've put them out whole, if they are the mini-peppers, and in wedges in bowls before.  They are always a hit if you have great dips.

Nuts.  Need I say more?  Cashews, Almonds, salted and roasted or dry.  I bought the bag of almond clusters that are sweetened like candy with something gooey, at Sam's Club.  They are divine on the board.  Any of those cluster nut candies work well.  A favorite nut, and especially on the board, is the peppered pistachios!  Oh my!  We also buy olive oil soaked rosemary almonds, in our Lee's Deli. They are an extravagance, but oh so worth it!  Those are for grown-ups.  I have to hide them from Doug until the board is set.

Extra Fun stuff:  Dates, dried apricots, dried apples or fruits of any kind.  Snow peas, carrot slices (more for color than flavor, so cut them fancy,)

For dips... the marscapone comes in a small 6-8 ounce container and is about $3-$4.  You mix in about 2-3 tablespoons of your favorite jam and have a huge treat!  However, we discovered a few weeks ago that the softened, whipped cream cheese works just as well and for half the price.

Homemade ranch dressing/dip is amazing.  We never buy ranch in our home, because it's so easy to make it and no preservatives AND it tastes a thousand times better!  We thin our recipe down with a little milk for salads but for the most part, we use it as a dip.  Here's the recipe, but when we make it, we quadruple it always:

HOMEMADE RANCH DIP/DRESSING

1 cup of Mayo

1/2 cup of Sour Cream

1 1/2 tsp of dried Dill Weed (This is the secret to th

1 tsp dried chives

1 tsp. dried parsley

1/4 tsp. Onion Powder

1/4 tsp. Garlic Powder

1/8 tsp. salt

1/8 tsp. pepper

Another great dip that works well is a spinach-artichoke dip!  We inhaled it at our last party!

Mustards:  I HATE mustard!  Mustards and olives are my two least favorite things on the planet to eat.  That being said, Fancy dijon mustards are a huge hit on a charcuterie board... with all those breads and cheeses and meats, it's almost a must.  Unless, you are me.  I just look at it but everyone else schmears away with it.

Breads and Crackers :  Artisan Breads are fabulous.  So are crackers.  The dryer crackers work better.  Ritz and Keeblers break and get soggy too fast.  Try multi-grain crackers, pretzel crackers and even Matza-like crackers.

A few tips...

Set the board and table earlier in the day.  You can put out a lot of the food, such as nuts, grapes, crackers, oranges... in advance.  An hour before, you can add veggies and cheeses.  Cover the board with plastic wrap until you are ready to serve.  We just lift the plastic as we go, adding more as the hour gets closer.  Add the meats at the very last.  Have them all sliced and separated into Ziplock bags.  Leave spaces for them.  It's not a bad idea to put some little notes on the board of what you will add where.  There's no method to the madness, other than making sure to duplicate the foods in front of each couple or group of people eating.  

Make sure to have lots of appetizer forks, fondue skewers, spreaders, etc.

Make SURE that all food is DRY before it goes on the board!

Try to display the food in contrasting colors as much as possible. Shapes and colors create a visual delight!

Have extras prepared in the kitchen and ready to add if needed.  We have never had to add to a board.  (Although Zee's teenage boy friends wouldn't have minded foregoing everything but the pepperonis and salamis.)

Zee says the more meat the merrier.  I say the more cheese the merrier!  Doug says the more nuts, the merrier!  I would say to plan on at least 4-6 bites of everything for each person, depending on your guests.  For men, you'll need more meat!  I'd always rather have too much than not enough!  Annnnd... it's makes for the easiest meal the next night for just you and your family or snacks in the fridge.  For weeks, we've had a large container with lots of ziplocks of different cheeses and meats.  Note: the turkey and ham only lasts a few days but most everything else will keep.

As soon as eyour guests are gathered around the table, it's a good idea to describe the foods and the process, so that everyone knows what's what.  Explain the proper way of eating it is to use the utensils and not your fingers.  (Make a joke of it, but it gets the message across.)

You don't have to have an actual board.  You could use a piece of marble, a cutting board, a pan, chargers, serving platters.  One of my favorite things I've seen yet was a rolled out piece of butcher paper with everything laid out on it.  I keep saying I'm going to do that next.  I've seen white butcher paper and brown.  It looks great either way!

So, these are a few of the things that have worked for us.  It's been such a fun new way to entertain and enjoy our meal together.  You can plan on sitting around the table for much longer.  We've sat for hours just grazing.  SO fun!  I have an extra large dining table that drives me nuts until we have guests gathered around it because it's roomy and allows for fun meals like this.  For that reason, we roll with it the rest of the time!

Good food is all the sweeter when shared with good friends and family!